Lyrics 'n' Pics

[Nurse Duckett]

Jake Thackray (the late great Jake)

Now we're agreed that we're in love
We'll have to face the lah-di-dah,
The eyewash, all of the fancy pantomime.
(I love you very much.)
I'll try love, I'll bill and coo
With your gruesome Aunty Susan
I'll stay calm, I'll play it cool;
I'll let your tetchy uncles
Get my back up, cross my heart.
And I shan't get shirty when they say I look peculiar.

I'll be nice to your mother,
I'll come all over lah-di-dah,
Although she always gets up me nose.
(I love you very much.)
And so I'll Smile and I'll acquiesce
When she invites me to caress
Her scabby cat;
I'll sit still while she knits
And witters, cross my heart,
And I shan't lay a finger on the crabby old batface.

I'll be polite to your daddy,
Frightfully lah-di-dah,
Although he always bores me to my boots.
(I love you very much.)
And so I won't boo and hiss
When he starts to reminisce
I won't drop off, I won't flare up;
The runs he used to score
And how he won the war, cross my heart,
But I'll have to grit my teeth when he goes on about his rupture.

I'll behave at the wedding breakfast
I'll be lah-di-dah
So help me! Hearty toasts and crummy jokes!
(I love you very much.)
So help me, I'll force a laugh
For the flicking photographs
So have no fear, I won't turn tail;
I won't run amuck when the females chuck
Confetti in my ears
And cross my heart, love, I'll keep off the pale ale.

When we're off on our own
No more lah-di-bloody-dah
I promise We just won't have the time
We won't have time for such,
Such fancy pantomimes.
(I'll love you far too much.)

[Tiger Lil']

I would move my last two 'rainbow' posts here if i could -they compliment one another as if made for this thread!

thedesertisland.proboards45.com/index.cgi?board=games&action=display&thread=1118712626&page=2

Inspirational?











Edited font size and link, because I moved the board. Okay with you?
~ The Beakette ~ (xoxo)

[Tiger Lil']

"Last Year's Man"

The rain falls down on last year's man,
that's a jew's harp on the table,
that's a crayon in his hand.
And the corners of the blueprint are ruined since they rolled
far past the stems of thumbtacks
that still throw shadows on the wood.
And the skylight is like skin for a drum I'll never mend
and all the rain falls down amen
on the works of last year's man.
I met a lady, she was playing with her soldiers in the dark
oh one by one she had to tell them
that her name was Joan of Arc.
I was in that army, yes I stayed a little while;
I want to thank you, Joan of Arc,
for treating me so well.
And though I wear a uniform I was not born to fight;
all these wounded boys you lie beside,
goodnight, my friends, goodnight.

I came upon a wedding that old families had contrived;
Bethlehem the bridegroom,
Babylon the bride.
Great Babylon was naked, oh she stood there trembling for me,
and Bethlehem inflamed us both
like the shy one at some orgy.
And when we fell together all our flesh was like a veil
that I had to draw aside to see
the serpent eat its tail.

Some women wait for Jesus, and some women wait for Cain
so I hang upon my altar
and I hoist my axe again.
And I take the one who finds me back to where it all began
when Jesus was the honeymoon
and Cain was just the man.
And we read from pleasant Bibles that are bound in blood and skin
that the wilderness is gathering
all its children back again.

The rain falls down on last year's man,
an hour has gone by
and he has not moved his hand.
But everything will happen if he only gives the word;
the lovers will rise up
and the mountains touch the ground.
But the skylight is like skin for a drum I'll never mend
and all the rain falls down amen
on the works of last year's man.

[Captain Nudnick]

Anyone got a suitable image for this (not really desert) tropical Island song lyric?

UNCLE HARRY
(Noël Coward - "Pacific 1860" (1946))

[Verse 1]

We all of us have relations,
Our crosses in life we bear,
A gloomy group of uncles, cousins and aunts.
We meet them in railway stations,
In Harrods, or Chester Square,
And always on the Channel boat to France.
We have to be polite to them,
They sometimes send us pheasants.
We always have to write to them
To thank for Christmas presents.
These family obligations
Admittedly are a bore
But I possess one uncle that I positively adore.

[Refrain 1]

Poor Uncle Harry
Wanted to be a missionary
So he took a ship and sailed away.
This visionary,
Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary,
Found a South Sea Isle on which to stay.
The natives greeted them kindly and invited them to dine
On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine,
The taste of which was filthy, but the after-effects divine.

Poor Uncle Harry
Got a bit gay and longed to tarry.
This, Aunt Mary couldn't quite allow.
She lectured him severely on a number of church affairs
But when she'd gone to bed he made a getaway down the stairs,
For he longed to find the answer to a few of the maiden's prayers.
Uncle Harry's not a missionary now.

Poor Uncle Harry
After a chat with dear Aunt Mary
Thought the time had come to make a row.
He lined up all the older girls in one of the local sheds
And while he was reviling them, and tearing himself to shreds
They took their Mother Hubbards off and tied them around their heads.
Uncle Harry's not a missionary now.
He's awfully happy
But he's certainly not a missionary now!

[Verse 2]

Now Uncle was just a 'seeker',
A 'dreamer' sincerely blest,
Of this there couldn't be a shadow of doubt.
The fact that his flesh was weaker
Than even Aunt Mary guessed
Took even her some time to figure out.
In all those languid latitudes
The atmosphere's exotic,
To take up moral attitudes
Would be too idiotic,
Though nobody could be meeker
Than Uncle had been before
I bet today he's giving way
At practically every pore!

[Refrain 2]

Poor Uncle Harry
Having become a missionary
Found the natives' morals rather crude.
He and Aunt Mary
Quickly imposed an arbitrary
Ban upon them shopping in the nude.
They all considered this silly and they didn't take it well,
They burned his boots and several suits and wrecked the Mission Hotel,
They also burnt his mackintosh, which made a disgusting smell.

Poor Uncle Harry
After some words with dear Aunt Mary
Called upon the chiefs for a pow-wow.
They didn't brandish knives at him, they really were awfully sweet,
They made concerted dives at him and offered him things to eat,
But when they threw their wives at him he had to admit defeat.
Uncle Harry's not a missionary now.

Poor dear Aunt Mary
Though it were revolutionary
Thought her time had come to take a bow.
Poor Uncle Harry looked at her, in whom he had placed his trust,
His very last illusion broke and crumbled away to dust,
For she'd placed a flower behind her ear and frankly...exposed... her bust.
Uncle Harry's not a missionary now.
He's left the island,
But he's certainly not a missionary now.

[Nurse Duckett]

(Captain, this is entirely unconnected with your wonderful lyrics up there)

Peggy Lee:

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is..........



aren't we supposed to show where the lyrics come from, copyright and all that?[/color]

[Celeste]

Gone Into The Sky This song was written by a musician friend, a bit on the 'moving' side IMO. Especially when ya hear it performed live...

your flight was leaving at 3:00 I hugged you goodbye - 'hey, take care' I watched you run down the hallway 'hey, will you call when you get there?' and then I caught a glimpse of you you were waving from your window and then the plane sped down the runway and now the world has changed so but I'm pretty sure I'm still here asking like so many others ... why? I only know your plane took off and now you've gone into the sky gone into the sky you never know when your last chance will come to say goodbye

news of water-logged debris no bodies found anywhere and I'm hoping against hope that you're still breathing somewhere but I know it's useless to wish for a miraculous sign fate chooses us, we don't choose it can I accept it was your time? we can gather all the data and search for an answer why but even if you're never found I know you've gone in the sky gone into the sky and did I tell you I love you after we said goodbye? ~ ~ ~

Written by E. Davis of Striking Ghosts
(c) 2005 Metal Petal Songs
~ xoxo ~

[Captain Nudnick]

Yaharr, Nursie -- I spy a Lieber and Stoller song! They were never sure if PL meant it when she said that if they gave it to anyone else they would be subject to a hit from her 'friends'. Anyway she got it. Apart from the reference to 'dancing', it's my song throughout!

[Nurse Duckett]

So glad you recognised liked it, Cap'n.

I'll try to find you another.

strange this, when I click on smiley he no appear. I have to key in the by hand

<--- like that

[Nurse Duckett]

Words & Music: Jake Thackray

There once was an old captain who wished nothing more
Than to live again his voyages and walk by the seashore.
A simple man, and a good man, but the bane of his life
Was his

[Captain Nudnick]

While we're on a Jake Thackray party, here's one of my favourites:

On Again!, On Again!
Jake Thackray
© Plantagenet Music Ltd

1. I love a good bum on a woman it, makes my day.
To me it is palpable proof of God’s existence a posteriori.
Also I love breasts and arms and ankles, elbows, knees.
It’s the tongue, the tongue, the tongue on a woman
That spoils the job for me.
Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex
And I honour them every bit as much as the next misogynist.
But give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again on again on again on again
On again on again on.

2. I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips
And a sensational belly; I just never noticed her lips
Were always moving.
Only when we got to the altar and she had to say ‘I do’
And she folded her arms and gathered herself and took in a breath
I knew.
She could have gone on again on again on again till the entire
Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choir
Boys passed through puberty
At the reception I gloomily noted her family’s jubilant mood,
Their maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude.




3. She talks to me when I go for a shave or a sleep or a swim.
She talks to me on a Sunday when I go singing hymns and drinking heavily.
When I go mending my chimneypots she’s down there in the street
And at ninety five on my motorbike she’s on the pillion seat
Wittering on again on again on again and again.
When I’m eating or drinking or reading or thinking or when I’m saying my rosary.
She will never stop talking to me she is one of those women who
Will never use three of four words when a couple of thousand
Will easily do.

4. She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night
Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights
She never gives over,
Not even stopping while we go hammer and tongs towards the peak
Except maybe for a sigh and a groan and one perfunctory shriek
And then she goes on again on again on again on and I must
Assume that she has never noticed that she’s just
Been interrupted,
Totally unruffled she is and as far as I can see
I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring
Up the tea.

5. She will not take a hint not once she’s made a start
I can yawn or belch or bleed or faint or fart.
She’ll not drop a syllable
I could stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe
I could sprinkle her with paraffin and ask her for a match
She’d just go on again on again on again even more
The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her she can bore
The balls off a buffalo,
‘Mother of God’ I cried one day ‘Oh let your Kingdom come!’
And in the meantime Mother could you strike this bugger dumb?’

6. Well believe it or not she appeared to me then and there,
The blessed Virgin herself in answer to my prayer
Despite the vulgarity
Shimmering softly dressed in blue and holding up a hand
I cocked a pious ear as the mother of God began.
But she went on again on again on again on and I
Will have to state how very much I sympathise
With the rest of the family
Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They’ll go on again on again on again on again
And again and again and again and again
They will go
On again on again on again on again on again on again on.

Edited to remove the baleful influence of the Auto-Moron...

[Crusoe]

”Jam” – Ivor Cutler

What’s your favourite jam?

Traffic jam, traffic jam.

What’s your favourite jam?

Traffic Jam.

What’s wrong with raspberry?

What’s wrong with plum?

How’s about a blob of elderberry on a scone?

What’s your favourite jam?

Traffic Jam – it’s the jam for a man.

[Crusoe]

“Victory Test Match” – Lord Beginner

Cricket, lovely cricket,
At Lord’s, where I saw it.
Cricket, lovely cricket,
At Lord’s, where I saw it.

Yardley tried his best,
Goddard won the test,
They gave the crowd plenty fun,
Second test and West Indies won.

With these little pals of mine,
Ramadhin and Valentine.

The King was there, well attired,
So they started with Rae and Stollmeyer,
Stolly was hittin’ balls round the boundary,
But Wardle stopped him at twenty,
Rae had confidence,
So he put a buzz round the fence,
He saw the King was waiting to see,
So he gave him a century.

With these little pals of mine,
Ramadhin and Valentine.

West Indies first innings total
Was three twenty-six, just as usual.
When Bedser bowled Christiani,
The whole thing collapsed quite easy,
England then went on
And made a hundred and fifty-one,
West indies then had two-twenty lead,
Goddard said “that is nice, indeed.”

With these little pals of mine,
Ramadhin and Valentine.

[Pooka]

I remember when rock was young Me and Suzie had so much fun Holding hands and skimming stones Had an old gold Chevy and a place of my own But the biggest kick I ever got Was doing a thing called the Crocodile Rock While the other kids were Rocking Round the Clock We were hopping and bopping to the Crocodile Rock

Well Crocodile Rocking is something shocking When your feet just can't keep still I never knew me a better time And I guess I never will Oh Lawdy mama those Friday nights When Suzie wore her dresses tight And the Crocodile Rocking was Out of sight But the years went by and the rock just died Suzie went and left us for some foreign guy Long nights crying by the record machine Dreaming of my Chevy And my old blue jeans But they'll never kill the thrills we've got Burning up to the Crocodile Rock Learning fast as the weeks went past We really thought the Crocodile Rock would last

[Nurse Duckett]

captainnudnick said:

While we're on a Jake Thackray party, here's one of my favourites:

On Again!, On Again!

WONDERFUL Lyrics, Captain. Not heard that one before and it reads well out loud without knowing the tune, too.

[Nurse Duckett]

webb said:

“Victory Test Match” – Lord Beginner

Crusoe, I didn't know there were any cricket songs!

Well Done old chap

Very Impressed Nursie