Incomplete Limericks V4

[Crusoe]

But as one of the workers
I envy the shirkers
And, frankly, I’m rather annoyed.

[Upsetter]

puka said:

I guess we should feel overjoyed
To be in a caste that's employed . . .

[Upsetter]

I guess we should feel overjoyed
To be in a caste that's employed . .
So we sailed to Mauritious
Cos the foods more nutritious
So it is! said the MacDonalds boy.

[Captain Nudnick]

There was a young woman from Datchet
Who carved an odd thing with a hatchet...

[Upsetter]

captainnudnick said:

There was a young woman from Datchet
Who carved an odd thing with a hatchet...

[Upsetter]

here was a young woman from Datchet
Who carved an odd thing with a hatchet...
It wasn't much use
And soon fell into disuse
So she decided to bury the hatchet

...but me found it an me bury it in er 'ed, dat why de call me de Upsetter. Me na like ta be crossed man.

wen ya were down n 'out

me use ta elp ya out

Nah ya tink ya Bigshot

Ya no remember dat!

[Captain Nudnick]

here was a young woman from Datchet
Who carved an odd thing with a hatchet
It wasn't much use
All the fittings came loose
Though the steering was pinion and ratchet

I think we should issue a Fatwa
Against people writing in patois...

[Crusoe]

captainnudnick said:

I think we should issue a Fatwa
Against people writing in patois...

‘Cause I and I be
Talkin’ proper stylee




Sorry, Captain – I couldn’t resist the irony (and still can’t think of anything to rhyme with fatwa/ patois)

[Captain Nudnick]

I think we should issue a Fatwa
Against people writing in patois...
‘Cause I and I be
Talkin’ proper stylee
Drowning sorrows in cool Stella Artois

[Upsetter]

captainnudnick said:

I think we should issue a Fatwa
Against people writing in patois...
‘Cause I and I be
Talkin’ proper stylee
Drowning sorrows in cool Stella Artois

Me takin ya to da Race Relations, Man!

me knew ya wud be drinkin da ration already. Me ga tell de Admiral - who just so happens to be moi!

See me at the Admirals door, tomorrow morning, Capt Nudnick and Jim lad prepare the whip, a good 20 lashes should suffice.

And if anyone else thinks that being stranded on a Desert Island with a bunch of loonies is any fun and a reason to play games then think again. Its every man for himself here but at all times the Admirals rules and regulations must be followed. And don't worry yourself about the beak, she's sitting on my shoulder parroting the usual nonsense.

Don't forget, Capt at my door at 7a.m. on the dot in full regalia...oh and whoever took the door can they please bring it back. They'll be no further mutiny's either ashore or on the high sea's!

Day 8. Sent search party

Day 9. Still no sign of Dulcie. How I miss her mystery and infinite variety.

Day 10. Say hello to Pooka but she's asleep again. The parrot squawks too much for me to take much rest.

Day 11. More repairs on ship. Will be a long time before its seaworthy. Feel as sick as a parrot.

Day 12. Fed up. Decide to strangle the Parrot!

Day 13. Fried Parrot was served at the table. Edible but rather stringy.

Day 14. Feel rather ill with stomach pains. Decide to lie on the hammock but Nursie won't allow me to.

[Crusoe]

The parrot’s been strangled by U,
It might well end up in a stew,

[moonbeam]

The parrot’s been strangled by U
It might well end up in a stew
Or made into jerky
With spices, quite perky

[Captain Nudnick]

The parrot’s been strangled by U
It might well end up in a stew
Or made into jerky
With spices, quite perky
Till the parson's nose floats into view...

[moonbeen]

A windowcleaner bought this giraffe
Took it to work for bit of a laugh

[Captain Nudnick]

Sorry - I don't see a way to fit that into a Limerick - wrong metre!