Jedi Darcy and the mystery of the Navaho elves

[Pooka]

"Don't be silly Molloy", Magoo chuckled, "she cannot hear you!"

Just then, a young boy came skipping across the grass and sat down next to Ursula. ...






(Sorry, had to 'complete the image'.)

[Benbow]

"What-ho matron," said Carruthers(for it was he) "I say, what are you doing here? Have you seen Wilkins major, by any chance?"
Ursula looked up in surprise. "Carruthers," she exclaimed, "Come here at once. There is something of great importance that I must tell you...

[Copper Penny]

"Four score, and seven years ago... "

[Benbow]

...my great-grand-papa was engaged in an archaeological dig in Egypt. Although he would have been in the most horrid trouble, had anyone discovered them, he managed to appropriate for himself these two gorgeous water pitchers, which came from the tomb of the great pharoah himself.
"Golly" said Carruthers, "What a splendid pair of jugs."
"Indeed," replied Ursula, "Would you... would you like to hold them, young man?"
"Golly, I should say so," replied Carruthers, eagerly reaching for the two magnificent specimens before him.

[Nurse Duckett]

but it was too late.

Ursula had drifted away again in a blissful state of recollection of her lover's voice, with his French accent, his eyes which gazed at her beautiful face so steadily and adoringly, and all she could think of was the next time he would [/color]

[Benbow]

criticize cook's efforts in the kitchen. The boys loved her food, however. Cook's dumplings were appreciated by all and sometimes she would even sneak food parcels into their dormitory. Many a lad had woken up in the morning to find that cook had left him with a little spotted dick, or even crabs, if the fishmonger had called that day. "Ah," mused Ursula...

[Pooka]

"... how would I eat a dish of crabs?" She went to the cupboards and kitchen drawers to search for utensils, only to find that her cupboard was bare. "Was I robbed?" she exclaimed.

Then she vaguely recalled being served up a stiff drink during her house party. She had fallen fast asleep and dreamt she was attending a Greek gala. Although, it wasn't a dream at all!

What had really happened was . . .

[Benbow]

that Sir WIlloughby and Lady Flashlots, parents of the school bully, Harry Flashlots, were celebrating their daughter's coming out. Harry had come out years ago, but now that their daughter was a debutante, Lady Flashlots demanded that they hold a ball in her honour. Lady Flashlotts loved holding balls, and was given to showing off her exquisite fandango whenever the opportunity might arise. Sir Willoughby viewed all this with the air of a man who

[Crusoe]

had something to hide. I tailed him down the block on a hunch but the hunch wasn’t moving very fast so I got off and caught a cab. When I caught up with Willoughby, it was as I expected: he was scoring a large tub of wart-concealing ointment. I should have realised it was Wart-nose Willoughby up to his old tricks again but that was no concern of mine at that moment. I had bigger fish to fry and I was already late for my evening shift at Marino’s Fish Bar.

You don’t have to look far for trouble in this town before it finds you and “Trouble” Toscanini found me. He walked into the fish bar.

“Goddamnit!” he said “that was painful.”

Once he recovered himself, he looked a threatening figure with his big coat and his violin case.

“Oh no!” screamed a woman, “has he got a gun in there?”

“It’s worse than that,” I told her, “if I know the old “Trouble” Toscanini, he’s got a violin in there.”

At that moment, he opened the violin case and…

[Benbow]

executed a perfect rendition of the school song ' Keep it up, St Onan's ' a melody that had oft made grown men weep.
"I say, senor Toscanini," said Sir Willoughby Flashlots, "that's a jolly nice bit of fiddle playing. Would you consider joining St Onan's string quartet. The music master, who was our leader, died recently, and we'd been fiddling with each other for years. What do you say, old chap?"

[Nurse Duckett]

Ursula blushed and then wept. She had been on the verge of tears for days but now she couldn't hold them back any longer. It was so long since she'd seen her passionate lover and her empty arms were

[Benbow]

just what Sir Willoughby needed to carry his cello.
"Come on, old girl" He said, "It's only another mile or so to the railway station."
The string quartet were due to play a recital at St Onan's that very afternoon, in memory of

[Nurse Duckett]

someone dead. Ursula flinched at Sir Willoughby's rough brusque manner which she supposed was his very English way of dealing with the slightest sign of weakness. Her lover was not dead. He was never rough or brusque with her. He was the most wonderfully sensitive, kind, loving, virile, athletic, intelligent, funny man she had ever met in her life.

She was tired of pretending to be happy in front of Sir Willoughby so, raking a sweeping glance across his broad, plain face which reminded her of [/color]

[Benbow]

broad, plain facemask, not unlike those used by the Oomagooli tribe of East Africa, an people that Sir Willoughby knew well, having spent most of his

[Crusoe]

ill-gotten gains setting up a chain of strip-clubs. I knew all about that operation and I knew I had a hold over Wart-nose and decided it was time to pay him a visit. As I walked through the entrance of The Full Moon, I saw Willoughby was expecting me. He sat with…