Nigel Slater

[Craise Finton Kirk]

Luxury said:

That's two b's.

A word rightly possessing two b's must be respected, and I fear your education must be lacking, CFK.

Please forgive my familiarity in addressing you as "CFK" but I'm not sure which end of your name is which.

Very sorry LA (are you an American?), it was a genuine typo - I even checked on Google. I failed everything at school and don't possess any qualifications, so that probably explains it.

Please forgive my familiarity in addressing you as "CFK" but I'm not sure which end of your name is which.

My Christian name is 'Craise' (surname Finton-Kirk). St Craise is a well known modern saint from Stafford who took a great deal of care with his hair and developed quite a few hair conditioners with some interesting ingredients. He also loved listening to the radio.

P.S. CFK is quite acceptable

[Captain Nudnick]

Weren't you screeched about by those BeeGee people?

[Craise Finton Kirk]

Captain said:

Weren't you screeched about by those BeeGee people?

Yes, I've often wondered if those very nice Bee Gee gentleman knew some of my relatives

[Craise Finton Kirk]

Luxury said:

Oh ... OK. You are forgiven, but you're very odd.

Oh yes, very very odd. I started purchasing Exchange & Mart weekly from the age of 8. I used to fantasise about owning a Wolseley 6/80 and would practice double-declutching with an imaginary clutch.

However, my Dad, when a young chap, used to visit regularly some distant relations who'd feed him macaroni cheese because he'd said on his first visit, out of politeness, how much he enjoyed it, even though he had to choke it down.

LA, I'm a veggie and eat tonnes of macaroni (with mushrooms or tomatoes). However I only really like the very thin Quaker-type and they appear to have stopped making it. Asda did make an equivalent version, but it's not on the shelves anymore. Fridays is macaroni meal day and I call it 'Standard', so if anyone asks me what I'm having to eat on Friday I reply: 'Oh a plate of Standard'.

The male of the household, who was the non-cook, said to Pater, "Take my advice, son, marry a good cook."

So, I wonder, what advice an older woman would give to a younger one in respect of marriage? Marry someone who's good with his hands? Marry someone with loads of money? Marry someone who doesn't use Brylcreem?

How true are the proverbs "Looks don't last - cooking do"? "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" And why do people take the object of their affections out for a meal? It can't be just the opportunity to get them on the other side of a table for two for a couple of hours, can it?

No, I don't wish to sound crude, but I have a feeling that carnal forces could be at work when a man takes a woman out for a meal.

A rather nice man took me out for dinner last weekend, and the food was fabulous; nothing to do with comfort or solace, but rather, celebrating sensuality.

Good to hear a woman describe a male as: 'a rather nice man'. I don't mind business lunches with women, but not too keen on taking them out for a meal. I find myself wondering if she's wondering if I want to take her to bed. Not too keen about eating in public anyway. I don't like the idea of pulling yummy faces so that I can let everyone know that I'm enjoying the meal. Also find that I start to study people's table manners (the way they eat and hold their knife etc), so class and breeding become an issue then.

I was supposed to be taking some business colleagues out for lunch about a year ago and they got lost, so didn't turn up. I was sitting next to a really attractive woman (gorgeous hair) who was engrossed in a book whilst eating. I really envied her lack of self-consciousness and one could tell that she was really enjoying her book.

I like hearing about food on Radio 4. Perhaps it's strange to experience one sense through the medium of another. I even like "Veg Talk" - whoever commissioned that was brave.

Grrrrrr.......I hate it......those horrible voices......and the annoying callers.

I don't know. Do you? Do you think they should have a phone-in to find out? But first, we need to define "ordinary".

No I don't own a Steinway, but have just inherited a very expensive violin (under sad circumstances), but can only play 'Little Brown Jug'. I think Mr Expensive violin would pull a few faces if I attempted that, so I just hold it. Yes, a phone-in would be a good idea, but I suspect it would be confined to the south east of England. I'm defining 'ordinary' in the sense that I'm assuming a Gaussian distribution.

Hee hee. That one puzzled me too. They didn't state which "posh" bit of Wolverhampton he came from. If it were Pattingham, it would be understandable.

Very interesting. I like the way people from the Midlands speak about 'going on the box'.

Oh yes, so it was. I could just imagine him spending whole evenings going through his record collection, playing everything, before he chose the final eight. Quite sweet, really.

Actually, I didn't get the impression that he had a comprehensive record collection..... but I could be wrong

[Nurse Duckett]

Ahoy there. Since you're posting so much Craise mate, and very enjoyably too, why not register?

Just a thought.

Nursie

[Nurse Duckett]

Guest-Craise said:

LA,

er, isn't Luxury Yot LY?

So, I wonder, what advice an older woman would give to a younger one in respect of marriage? Marry someone who's good with his hands? Marry someone with loads of money? Marry someone who doesn't use Brylcreem?

Easy. Marry someone who makes you laugh. A shared sense of humour will get you through all sorts of troubles and yes, there will be troubles ahead. Marry someone with brains in their head not little bits of grey fluff blown in by the wind (like Pooh Bear for instance). Marry someone you actually fancy. Laughing and thinking aren't all that's needed for the long rocky road.

Having settled those three (which are equal firsts), then, marry someone who shares your views on Really Heavy Stuff like children (whether or not you both want them), their upbringing, education and so on. You can, however, survive with different views on politics, religion and the royal family as long as neither one is a fanatic.

Personal hygiene's important too (so stop s.nigg.er.ing* at the back). Someone who routinely brushes their teeth three times a day is unlikely to find a soulmate in someone who's had the same toothbrush for ten years and thinks that bathing is for sissies.

Then there's music, books, food, what sort of holidays you like oh, and ambition, lark versus owl, attitude to parents and siblings and of course, their hair. (people can be strange about hair styles)

Easy.
*automod forced me to put some full stops in there.

[sportyscouse]

< Oh yes, very very odd. I started purchasing Exchange & Mart weekly from the age of 8. I used to fantasise about owning a Wolseley 6/80 and would practice double-declutching with an imaginary clutch.>

Oooooh, I had a Wolesley 1500! saigh, lovely, lovely beastie.

[Craise Finton Kirk]

Nurse said:

er, isn't Luxury Yot LY?

Oh I do apologise (sorry LY) - I can't stopping singing 'Leeettle Brown Jug' to myself (LBJ), so keep getting everyone's initials wrong. There again, LBJ is the skylark isn't it?

[Nurse Duckett]

Guest-Craise said:

There again, LBJ is the skylark isn't it?

Lyndon Baines Johnson? or even Lady Bird Johnson.

She planted many trees and got flowers to thrive along the sides of American interstates and freeways and highways. What a woman.

[Captain Nudnick]

I say - was that Raymond Luxury-Yacht? Pronounced 'Throatwobbler-Mangrove'?

Coo!

[Bin Laughin]

Nurse said:

. You can, however, survive with different views on politics, religion and the royal family as long as neither one is a fanatic.

“Sorry, Dear but you’re the Western infidel and I’m afraid I’ll have to blow you up.”

[Nurse Duckett]

Guest-Bin said:

“Sorry, Dear but you’re the Western infidel and I’m afraid I’ll have to blow you up.”

Exactly so.

[Luxury Yacht]

Nurse said:

Easy. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone with brains in their head. Marry someone you actually fancy. Laughing and thinking aren't all that's needed for the long rocky road.

How very true and practical, Nursie. I can understand completely why you are in your profession.

Making one laugh is not 100% required, if one is not a laugher; being witty and amusing may suffice.

Marry someone who shares your views on Really Heavy Stuff like children (whether or not you both want them), their upbringing, education and so on. You can, however, survive with different views on politics, religion and the royal family as long as neither one is a fanatic.

Indeed. Children especially, though people may believe that they will be prepared to reproduce if their beloved really wants to.

Personal hygiene's important too ...
Then there's music, books, food, what sort of holidays you like oh, and ambition, lark versus owl, attitude to parents and siblings and of course, their hair. (people can be strange about hair styles)

All important, too - or, at least, can be so. Chekhov said, did he not, that he wanted " a wife like the moon - one who does not appear in my sky every day", so lark and owl might work.

The "personal hygiene" stuff can be quite a serious issue, and not just because of cleanliness, but for cosmetic or aesthetic reasons. Presence or absence of facial or body hair, makeup, artificial perfume and so forth can be of utmost importance to some people and of none whatsoever to others.

[Luxury Yacht]

Captain said:

I say - was that Raymond Luxury-Yacht? Pronounced 'Throatwobbler-Mangrove'?

Coo!

My cousin! Not a very bright boy. The cobblers can never find his shoes when he sends his man to collect them.

[Luxury Yacht]

Guest-Craise said:

Oh yes, very very odd. I started purchasing Exchange & Mart weekly from the age of 8. I used to fantasise about owning a Wolseley 6/80 and would practice double-declutching with an imaginary clutch.

Exchange & Mart is an education in itself. Far more useful than "The Guardian".

LA, I'm a veggie and eat tonnes of macaroni (with mushrooms or tomatoes). However I only really like the very thin Quaker-type and they appear to have stopped making it.

I prefer tagliatelle, but love all pasta. You seem a little choosy - given your apparently prosaic attitude to food, why so?

So, I wonder, what advice an older woman would give to a younger one in respect of marriage? Marry someone who's good with his hands? Marry someone with loads of money? Marry someone who doesn't use Brylcreem?

Marry someone only if you could not imagine being without him. Marry someone who is kind, because he respects and loves you; and who is the most wonderful man in the world.

Or don't marry, and just make a life together without the certificate.

Marriage is either a practical move to make (tax, inheritance, pacifying parents, making sure progeny are "legitimate", religious purposes, convention, propriety etc) or a romantic one (because you jolly well want to), but Brylcreem transcends all.

No, I don't wish to sound crude, but I have a feeling that carnal forces could be at work when a man takes a woman out for a meal.

and yet you say

I find myself wondering if she's wondering if I want to take her to bed.

Hee hee. So when a man takes us out for a meal, how are we expected to react? Should we just enjoy his company, or should we spend the evening thinking about how or whether we should accept or reject any possible advances?

I like the way people from the Midlands speak about 'going on the box'.

Ar. I like the way they say "I wo' 'urt yow" too.

Actually, I didn't get the impression that he had a comprehensive record collection..... but I could be wrong

Really, very few of us have a "comprehensive" record collection. But if we were asked to appear on DID, I bet that most of us would hoick out some stuff we hadn't played for years, and add it to the list, later to be whittled out probably, but it might stay.