aga saga

[Nurse Duckett]

scratchy feeling in the underpinnings, much like wig-burning really, only even funnier to watch when someone else has it in public, somewhat akin to

[Benbow]

slow hand clap, which was exactly what Bruce heard as he emerged from his reverie and realised that he was on stage with

[Pooka]

the Gloved Wonder. Yes, it was Michael Jackson himself, sporting a pink frilly tutu and performing a pas de deux to "Swan Lake"

[Nurse Duckett]

the other half of the deux being, of course, , whose wig has clearly burnt off as a result of the

[Benbow]

antics of the students in the bar, who had been entertaining the local gentry by drinking copious amounts of 'Old and Filthy's Real Ale' and setting fire to their

[Nurse Duckett]

merkins, which was a shame since they'd just held a Merkin Gardener Of The Year contest, the highlights of which are published in

[Benbow]

secret and therefore seen by no one except the editor, a wizened little man with a pronounced

[Nurse Duckett]

gargoyle, named Hilda, sitting on his shoulder; life was never dull for the wizened little editor of Merkin Monthly as the gargoyle suffered from multiple-personality-disorder and changed its name twice a week in attempting to

[Benbow]

escape the attentions of the Inland Revenue, who had hounded it for years in an attempt to recover

[Nurse Duckett]

their marbles, which

[Benbow]

had unfortunately rolled down the drain during a particularly violent game of Ringsy, however this had

[Nurse Duckett]

to be A Good Thing since, despite the violent nature of the game, Ringsy is actually a game for scaredy-cats and fannies; Real Men go Mountaineering was the theme of a new tract shortly to be published by our

[Benbow]

leading actress Prunella Scales, following an idea which occurred to her while she was squatting on top of Ben Affleck (see 'Keeping the Famous Occupied' thread), one of the highest peaks in Scotland, which incidentally

[Nurse Duckett]

is not a Munroe, unlike Ben Wyvis which can be run up in the middle of summer with a 40lb rucksack on your back and 120' of climbing rope, crampons, pitons and ice-picks danging from your

[Benbow]

servant's back, which may prevent him from observing the niceties when serving